A competitive edge between you that can fuel achievement or friction. Channel it well.
A square means one person’s Sun and the other person’s Mars are about 90 degrees apart. The app counts it as challenging. What the labels mean.
What it feels like
The Mars person pokes at the Sun person’s sense of who they are, sometimes on purpose. The Sun person pushes back. There’s energy here, and it can be great fun: banter with a bit of bite, a need to win, and a sense that this person won’t let you get away with anything.
It can also get tiring. If every conversation has a winner, one of you ends up losing a lot, and it may start to feel as if you can’t just be pleased about something without being challenged on it.
Where it shows up
It shows up around status and decisions: whose job takes priority, who’s right about the route, who gets the credit. Couples who work together or play sports together may find it especially obvious. It also tends to show up when one of you is doing very well, since the other may feel a surprising sting rather than simple pride.
What helps
Give it somewhere to go. Compete at tennis, at Scrabble, at who can save more this month. Then practice being on the same side: take on a shared opponent, like a tough project or a marathon. When your partner has a win, try celebrating first and adding your thoughts much later.
Notice the difference between teasing that both of you enjoy and teasing that’s wearing someone down. If you aren’t sure, ask.